For those of you in the know, my nine year old son has recently moved down south with his dad and he was back this week for half term. I COULD NOT WAIT. I thought that we would have a lovely chilled out week, the nine year old could meet his baby half brother for the first time and we could spend the week catching up. After all, I hadn't seen him in six weeks so we would have loads to talk about. Now I am fully aware that I have a naive streak so wide it verges on stupidity but I genuinely thought that this would be enough of a plan.
When he arrived on the Friday it was late and he was knackered so we had a quick ten minute catch up then everyone headed off for bed. Saturday was great, my son's friend from two doors up called for him and they spent most of the day either on their bikes or playing with action figures and it was lovely seeing my son with a bit more confidence and talking to his friend about his new school and all the things he'd been up to. My son met his baby brother and wasn't totally disinterested so I classed that as a success. Sunday was my birthday and there was a carvery lunch with some extended family followed by a nap for me. The nap was the best part of my birthday, that's how much I miss getting a full night's kip. My boy and my other half are never short of things to talk about, mainly to do with computer games or what super power they would rather have, so I was not missed in the slightest while I caught up on some much needed rest.
The other half was back to work on Monday, good I thought, quality time for just me and my boy (plus baby but he sleeps a lot). But every conversation I started was met with a one word answer while the boy lounged on the sofa looking for episodes of The Middle to watch. He would ask what we were doing today, what we were doing for the rest of the week and the best I could come up with was seeing his mate, going to a play centre and catching up with relatives who had also desperately missed him. None of which, frankly seemed to fill him with joy. Still, we had a nice enough day and Tuesday was much the same. Wednesday was play centre day, a whole day out with not only the joys of Funtastic, but lunch, a new computer game and a new top. But when I said I wanted to go in a shop, I got what can only be described as a bad look off the boy which said 'oh my god mam, why do we have to go here? This is soooooo boring.' at which point I got a little bit cross and pointed out that we had done everything he wanted to do, so surely he could manage five minutes in a shop for me.
My mother in law calls round most mornings to see her grandson and it also gives me a chance to get things done while she looks after the baby. One of the mornings she called round, my boy had given her one word answers to all her questions and on top of that had turned the telly up as much to say, 'be quiet woman I'm trying to watch this ten year old episode of The Simpsons.' Words were said about his rudeness and in my head I wanted to rant at him and say sorry that he seemed to be having such a crap week, but where had my lovely boy gone? Who was this boy I'd been sent that was full of attitude and no manners? Why was it I could hear him Face Time his dad every night but in the six weeks he'd been away he had only ever called me once? What was it about me he found so dull? It made me angry and sad in equal measure.
I of course didn't say anything to my boy, for that is the stuff Jeremy Kyle shows are made of. On the Friday we met up with another of my friends and her daughter. Her daughter and my son are the same age and although don't see each other very often at all these days, when they do they get on well. So they were having a whale of a time while I spilled my guts to my friend. She put things in perspective for me and made me realise part of the problem was my sleep depravation, which made every tiny incident seem much bigger as well as the fact that my boy was behaving like millions of other children in the half term holidays, ie like a brat.
This did get me thinking though, will the boy always be totally bored when he comes to visit? From what I have managed to gather he hangs about with a large group of older children when he's down south and even I can see how this would be more fun than just having the one friend he does up here. Will we grow further apart with me endlessly trying to include my boy in a family he's just not that bothered about?
The boy set off with my mam on the long journey back this morning. So far I haven't cried, but I know I will. My boy was upset when he hugged me goodbye but I have a horrible feeling that it was because he was going to miss me (a bit) and not his Up North life.
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