Toilets

      I never thought I'd say this, but the thing I miss the most about my old office is the toilets. You could guarantee that every morning they would be sparkling clean, the locks worked, there was always toilet roll and there was an actual toilet seat, fully attached on each toilet.
   
     Now I was under the misguided, naive impression that these were fairly standard expectations for a workplace toilet, but apparently I am very fucking wrong. In the five months I have been at my new office I have been immensely dissatisfied with the three toilets at the end of the corridor I work on. If I didn't have a baby pressing on my bladder I would happily walk the three flights of stairs to the clean, hardly touched toilets on the top floor but this is not an option.

So, I send out a plea to women of my workplace. STOP BEING DIRTY BITCHES.

Specifically:
- If your time really is too precious to waste standing at the hand dryer, don't dry your hands with half a roll of toilet paper then put it all in the toilet to block it up. There is a bin, try using that.
- Tampax and Tampax wrappers go in the special bin next to the toilet. Not the floor and not unflushed in the toilet.
- Really basic this one. If you use the toilet, flush it
- However it is that you manage to piss on the seat and floor, wipe it up.

And Mr Caretaker man, I may of mentioned this once or twice, but women like a lock on the door, so please fix cubicle three and they also like a toilet seat that is fully affixed to the toilet, not hanging by a thread. That is cubicle one I am referring to. They have been in the same shit state for five months, please, please, pretty please do something.

Mrs Cleaner lady, I can understand how, upon seeing the state of the bogs on a Monday morning it could make you feel depressed to your very core, but you get a similar plea. Please, please, pretty please clean them.